Friday, February 28, 2014

More Than One Healthy Body: Former Pageant Queens Weigh In

People talk a lot about health, weight, and how the two correspond. The general consensus seems to be that "healthy" does not look the same on every body type. Agreed. But what if each body type -- each individual -- doesn't have one weight or look that reflects personal health? Can the same person be equally healthy at 125lbs and 150lbs? Can we be just as healthy with normal, flat-ish stomachs rather than six packs... even if our bodies are proven to be capable of the latter?

Men and women alike look to the cover of Fitness Magazine or at their marathon-running friends for proof that their bodies are unhealthy or unattractive. These harmful body-to-body comparisons are constantly critiqued and analyzed by talk shows and blogs and Facebook statuses and "real" celebrities. But what about the comparisons we all make with our past selves? Most of us were at an "ideal" weight at one time in our lives. We have pictures that we look back upon with a sense of anxiety...Why don't I look like that anymore??? That's my body's happy weight. That's when my arms were toned and healthy. I'm ready for the underexposed discussion about the battle many of us face -- the one where we use ourselves as the weapon.

I am an ex-beauty queen.

At this time, please take 15 seconds for silent reflection. Think of all of the pageant stereotypes you may have immediately placed on me. Let them sink in. Accept them. Now take a deep breath. Let them go. Good, good, now we can move forward.

Before becoming Miss New York 2012, I competed in my fair share of pageants within the Miss America Organization. This means I spent years getting into fighting shape for the swimsuit portion of pageants. I cannot speak for every woman in pageants, but for me, I was healthy as a horse for swimsuit. Sure, I was really thin, but I was in great shape thanks to hours in the gym. I ate mostly protein and veggies, but didn't deprive myself of every little thing. At the end of the day, I rocked that bikini like I was Alessandra Ambrosio (okay, maybe only in my head...).

Surprise, surprise -- my body does not look like that anymore. I still eat relatively healthily and go to the gym 3-4 days a week (rather than 6-7), but am a size 4 instead of a size 0-2. Sometimes I catch myself looking at pictures, thinking "I am not as healthy as I used to be. I have got to get my pageant bod back." HOW RIDICULOUS. My doctor says I am currently the epitome of health. Funny thing, though... he told me the same thing when I was in pageant shape. You see, muscles are healthy, but so are hips and boobs. Guess what boobs are made of? Not muscle. Just saying.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Your Lacy Panties Will Get You Arrested In Russia

Your lacy underthings might be sexy, depending on where you shop they could be downright scandalous. But, in Russia, they could get you into some serious trouble. Yes, your underwear.

As reported by Marie Claire today, Russia is one of several countries in Eastern Europe that has put its foot down on the delicates trend. But, don't worry, the Customs Union — which exists between Russia, Kazakhstan, and Belarus — only has your health in mind. The crackdown is not a reaction to some Sexy Lingerie-related lawlessness, but rather to save us all from a lack of absorbency perpetrated by lace and other synthetic materials. In other words, keep your undies cotton only. It's for your own good.

There have already been protests to the ban, like a movement in Kazakhstan that had women taking to the streets with lacy underthings on their heads. We don't think we'd hand over our Hanky Pankys so easily, either. Sure, we can appreciate that Russia is so committed to its citizen's health, but when the government's getting into everyone's lingerie drawers? That's where we draw the panty line.